Grief

When I started my blog, my plan was to write something every day before I made my site public.  I mean who wants to read a blog with 1 post.  This is my first post in over a week!  What happened!

I was reminded that sometimes we have to take a break.  Once in a while things in life happen and it brings back all of the emotions and memories.    In those moments everything is fresh.

I feel like that is what has been happening with me.

There is nothing pretty about grief.   Sometimes it is sadness, anger, hurt, loneliness, frustration, and so many other emotions that I don't think I could make a complete list.

In those times there are things we have to continue doing and there are things that we need to take a break from and that is okay!  We need to acknowledge those times and take care of ourselves first.

That was a very hard thing for me to learn and some days it is still hard for me to do.    I find myself wanting everything to appear to be running smoothly without missing a beat.  The reality is I don't know if anyone has a life or home that runs perfectly all of the time.    I just know that I don't want anyone to think I am unable or incapable of being a "solo" parent.

Not only do I worry about how it looks from the outside but I don't want my kids to feel like they are missing out.

As I am typing that it sounds like a lot of pressure.  Most of the time it is just life and I don't feel the pressure.  In those times when I feel overwhelmed if I just take a break from those non essential things while life calms down then I can continue.

Sometimes it might be physical, emotional or a combination that puts us in the overwhelmed category.  Since I have given myself permission to take care of myself life is much better.