Fathers Day

Fathers Day has changed for me over the last few years.  I think it has changed for two reason.  One is probably more selfish than the other.  I will start with the selfish reason.

My kid are great!  They want to celebrate Fathers Day with me but I have to help them celebrate.  I have to do the shopping for my breakfast and dinner.  I have to help them do things for me.  When Stephanie was her she helped them with everything.  The day will come when I don't have to help them but that too makes me sad.  That will mean they are getting closer to leaving.  I think that is one of the things that I struggle with the most is the reality that some day if I have done my job as a dad they will leave and start lives of their own.

So for now I just enjoy the day with my kids.  I love the church program and seeing the little ones sing.  It will only be Olivia this year.  Hard to beleive.  I miss having the others up there but once again that is part of growing up!

The second reason is that my dad passed away a week and a half before Stephanie.  In fact, she passed away on the day of his funeral.  It is just different not having Dad here to call.

The last time I saw my dad was a week before he passed away.   Our last conversation that I ha with him I will never forget.  The last 3 things he told me was - That he didn't know what he would do without my mom.  Then he told me how much he loved me and the last thing was that he would do anything he could to help Stephanie.

A week later he passed away.  I wasn't there when he passed away I was with Stephanie for her last doctors appointment.  I was right were my dad would have wanted me to be.

Dad passed away on a Wednesday.  On the following Monday, Stephanie told me that my dad had been to visit her 3 times that day.  He mind was good so I have no doubt that my dad did visit her.  When I asked him what they talked about she told me about ice fishing, welding and fishing lures.  Stephanie was a city girl from Arlington, VA she didn't know anything about those things.  The reality is that is when I knew Stephanie's time was close.  Stephanie had a new sense of peace about her future after my dad visited her.

I beleive with all of my heart that my dad was true to his promise and was helping Stephanie.  As hard as it was to lose them both so close together I do know that he is taking care of her.  They were very close and I love that my dad helped her make that transition.

I love you dad!